tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19265389.post113404268080617182..comments2009-12-21T19:40:24.368-08:00Philnoreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19265389.post-27627112597807031232009-12-21T19:40:24.368-08:002009-12-21T19:40:24.368-08:00Overall a good effort - I&#39;ve read a lot of military sci-fi. The chapters dealing with weapons development read more like a manual however than a compatible element to an action story -I almost gave up on you there.<br /><br />The desire to explain something has to be secondary to carrying the momentum of the story. There was too much detail there. <br /><br />The action sequences are much better, but you have to have a bit better balance between things going right and things going wrong for your characters. No reader wants to have the protagonist of the story going through too many setbacks in sequence. By the time the helicopter crashed on the way to extraction - I just lost interest - the series of setbacks became too artificial and broke the illusion of chance circumstance. <br /><br />Also. If you focus this much energy on small team tactics you will have to set up your environments much more carefully - so your reader has a reference for how people and groups move within the landscape. Most good military sci-fi I&#39;ve read create simpler movements with more clearly defined environments.<br /><br />The section dealing with Iranian culture was very good - it contained a believable amount of detail - more than I know (and in this interesting) - and not so much it became a lecture on what you know or researched. . . <br /><br />My sense is that you have many ideas you want to get across and this gets in the way of story discipline - pace in particular, but also detail. My advice would be to shorten the section on weapon development by about 2/3, add more scenes involving interactions between characters – this is one area where you are too tight.<br /><br />I think you are ready to publish, but need to work with an editor who could catch patterns in your writing you may be to close to to notice. In the end i didn&#39;t finish the story for the reasons listed above - but I came close ;)<br /><br />excalibur<br /><br />excaliburAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19265389.post-39018243005481611822009-10-11T22:39:17.452-07:002009-10-11T22:39:17.452-07:00<a href="http://www.propeciainfo.com/" rel="nofollow">Propecia</a> works by blocking the enzyme 5 alpha reductase. This reduces the level of hormone, DHT, in the scalp and allows hairs to revert to a normal growth cycle. 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